LUKAYO.COM

Blog

  • Throwback Thursday: Charity (2011)

    https://youtu.be/sMyBEQNyVCY

    Image Description: A photo of the a bronze statue of a Filipina woman, the bust of her head larger than the background depicting the Philippine Revolution. The words at the top read: “Tandang Sora Memorial Shrine at Himlayang Pilipino, Quezon City, Philippines”. The title reads “Charity”. The website addresses are “Lukayo.com” and “www.patreon.com/lukayo”.

    Content Warning: About the prison and military industrial complex, mentions torture, and alludes to sexual assault.

    Dedicated to my she-roes: b. binaohan, Beatriz Colmo, Charity, Dino, Sass Rogando Sasot, and all transpinay and pinay writers and organizers for justice and freedom. This poem is for you.

    The heat clings to me as if I had just wooed it with
    Well-placed words and its favourite drink
    Making it hard to think, it’s so hot that the sweat on my thighs
    Evaporates faster than the breaths in my sighs
    But I’m not thinking about that because I’m here
    Looking into her eyes

    Ignoring her ragged clothes scrubbed clean with diligence
    And the men outside with their guns and vigilance
    The dirt floor and grey cracked walls,
    The people pressed up like animals in concrete stalls
    The strip searches and razor-wire fear
    But I’m not thinking about that because I’m here

    Looking into her eyes
    And listening to every word that drops from her lips
    Because this is the least that’s owed to her
    Because this is the least that I can give

    And when she’s finished speaking
    My silence hangs like a stone around my neck
    Heavy with all the things that you wouldn’t expect
    Like my aunt’s medical career
    My grandfather’s typing skills
    My parents taking me and my brother away from these coconut tree covered hills
    From these smoking volcanoes and smoky-mirrored unlicensed vans
    From these ocean-drenched beaches and smog-stained cities I call my homeland
    Growing up in a country where we can talk trash about our politicians on Twitter
    Form unions, have anarchist book fairs, and march in the streets when we feel bitter
    Have lengthy discussions about the state of the world in air-conditioned classrooms
    Not worry about the tab when doctors finally see us about a mild cold or grave wound
    My silence is filled with every decision that lead me here

    Where I’m looking into her eyes
    Where I’m the visitor and she’s the inmate
    And my presence is just a mere consolation prize
    For what we both really want:
    Her freedom

    Before this moment, I thought I knew what a hero was supposed to be
    Some nerdy white guy with another personality and random luck
    That made him big and green or spider-keen, or faster than a flying machine
    They were the ones that kept the world clean from tyranny and villainy
    Taking all the bad guys away from civilized society
    And putting them here
    And I’m looking into her eyes
    And I’m listening to the words that drop from her lips
    Like her name: Charity
    Charity Dino.

    Charity Dino was a schoolteacher who loved to read
    But when she saw corporations displacing families, she saw the need
    To gather up the people, form a union, start a protest
    Isn’t that what they do in democracies? Isn’t that what they do in the West?
    And on a stretch of road one November morning came rolling
    An unmarked van that grabbed her off her feet
    Shoved a bag over her head and tied her up like a piece of meat
    Brought her to a cell that would be her home for two weeks
    They used her body and her sex, threatened her family and friends
    To get her to confess to something she didn’t even comprehend
    “You’re a communist! A terrorist! Sign the paper, and we’ll stop.”
    How can you confess to something you were not?
    So they threw her in prison charged with carrying explosives
    Though she never held a weapon, never hurt a person, and they know this
    What they didn’t know was that Charity had with her community and truth
    Not just Sonny and Billy, her colleagues who were tortured too
    But dozens of activists who made the call throughout the world
    That here in this island country, let these voices be heard
    And then came visitors, letters, food rations and supplies
    Charity wrote and read every day, she began to organize from the inside

    And the higher-ups grew nervous, posted military around this little jail
    Threatened to kill her with a hired gun, but all to no avail
    So a man in a uniform with metals on his chest
    Came down to see her and said “We can erase this entire mess.
    Die in prison a monster, or join the army a hero– this is your choice.”
    But Charity wasn’t listening to his words, it was his voice
    “You’re the one who kidnapped and tortured me,” she said with recognition.
    And he shrugged his shoulders, “So? What’s your decision?”
    “I’m not thinking about that because I’m here,” she said.
    “Looking into your eyes.
    And this is what I realize.
    I’d rather die in prison serving the people
    Then join and serve the likes of you.
    Now get out. I’ve got some organizing to do.”

    So what’s a hero? What’s a terrorist?
    What exactly are prisons for?
    Are the villains in these holding cells
    Or in offices behind closed doors?
    How many more like Charity, and the Talisay 3,
    From Burma to Cuba, from Egypt to Haiti
    From China to the United States, from Zimbabwe to Iran
    From Venezuela to Cambodia to Azerbaijan
    Must be kidnapped and killed, or tortured and imprisoned
    Until the rest of us finally make our own decision?
    But I’m not thinking about that because I’m here.

    Looking into her eyes.
    And she doesn’t ask me to speak, doesn’t ask me to decide.
    But I choose to offer her my privilege, my poetry, my potential to do more
    Because this is the least that is owed to her.
    Because that’s what heroes are for.

    Note: Arrested, tortured, and incarcerated in November 2009, Charity Dino, Billy Batrina and Sony Rolegio spent more than 3 years as political prisoners in my homeland, the Philippines, all because they wanted to start a peasant union. Over that period many activists came to visit them, fundraise for legal aid, and spread the word. One of those activists was me, who wrote this small poem and used it to fundraise money in the Filipino community in Ottawa, as well as to raise awareness and put pressure on the government by petitions written by Canadian labour unions and churches. On the morning of December 26, 2013, all charges were dismissed because of lack of evidence, and Billy, Sony, and Charity were finally free to go home. Never stop writing and organizing– we can become accomplices in each other’s struggle and make a difference.

    If you liked this content, please become a patron, where all funds raised goes directly to healing work in my communities. Link to original article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/26731218

  • Troubleshoot Tuesday: The Place of Rage

    Image Description: A cellphone with a giant angry emoji/emoticon on the screen, lying on top of a wooden surface.

    Transcript: 

    Mabuhay! This Troubleshoot Tuesday, I’m going to briefly talk about what Katherine Cross writes as “call-out culture, purity politics, and the veneration of rage in activist circles” (the link to her article in Feministing is in the transcript to this video). This is a multi-part series because of how huge this topic is.

    I am not going to talk about social media scapegoating because these tutorial videos are about supporting folks facilitating workshops and running programming in their schools, communities, and workplaces. I think that the dynamic and nuanced discussion on social media scapegoating and shunning culture is super important, and I’ve offered links below to folks who have a lot to say about it.

    In the next few videos I’m going to talk about different strategies to handle rage in participants (and yourself) during a workshop. In this particular video I want to argue in favour of emotions, and in favour of anger, and how to make space for it.

    I’ve noticed historically and currently how “being emotional” is equated with “being less than” in regards to feminized people and racialized people, and that anger is only permitted for the masculinized– and white. It’s a tactic of silencing, where a person or people’s pain is minimized or erased by the underlying message that they have no right to be angry at all. Giving space for emotions and anger in our workshops for folks who have been told they are “too angry” and “too emotional” is about validating the pain and trauma that folks have endured under oppressive circumstances.

    So how do we make space for these feelings? You can say it openly, right at the beginning of the workshop or discussion. That it’s okay to cry, to get angry, to need to walk out, to ask for space, or a hug, or to shake with fear and anxiety. Talk about your own feelings, how they affect you, how they may express themselves during the workshop. I talk about how sometimes I sing when I’m nervous, and I cry suddenly, and that’s okay to let me cry. That when I get angry, I clench my fists, and I scream into pillows but my voice doesn’t rise.

    I think it’s also important to bring this up during the Community Agreements part of your workshop (a video on that coming up soon). I don’t think it’s responsible to hold space for emotions without checking in with everyone about any trauma they’re willing to disclose regarding triggers, as well as agreements made on how to manage conflict and feedback between participants, and if there are support people to check in on folks who step out in the midst of great distress.

    Anyway, that’s it for today! Don’t forget to comment on this post with your own concerns and questions, and I’ll be happy to answer and troubleshoot with you any situations that have come up for you in your own work and discussions. Tune in next week for more on The Place of Rage!

    Links:

    If you liked this video, please become a patron, where all funds raised goes directly to healing work in my communities. Link to original article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/26681270

     

  • Musings Monday: On Healing Justice & Sacred Activism (Part 2 of 5)

    Image Description: A stick of upright incense in a bowl on a wooden table. The smoke curls in the shape of a heart against a black background. The title on the image reads: “On Healing Justice & Sacred Activism” with the URLs “lukayo.com” and “patreon.com/lukayo“.

    (This article is one of a 5-part series written in the spring of 2017 for a spirituality and social work class.)

    When I center myself, my body falls back into myself, into my aches and pains, but also into my hopes, my connections, my Will. When I center myself, I connect to the land, to my ancestors, to my spirit helpers, to the legacy I want to leave behind when I move on to the next world. When I center myself, I notice myself, I notice the world outside the scope of my wounding, into a vision of what is and all its brimming potential. When I center myself, I am giving myself time, and kindness, and care. 
    When I center myself, it also reminds me of how, outside these moments, I am disconnected from my body, from the land, from food. It is a lifelong struggle, fraught with agony that allopathic doctors will try to describe using colonial terms like “depression”, “eating disorder”, “(un)healthy immigrant syndrome”, “body dysmorphia”, “pre-diabetic”, “irritable bowel syndrome”, “gluten sensitivity”, “lactose intolerance”, and on and on and on. I am exhausted with these names they call me that cement the poison in my body instead of celebrating my resistance and resilience.
    Hanh (2000) writes that “each morsel of food is an ambassador from the cosmos” (p. 7) and hooks (2009) feels connected to her ancestors when she “can put a meal on the table of food” that she grew (p. 39). Part of my spiritual practice at this moment is learning how to grow plants, to speak to plant spirits, and know their story. My healer/teacher, who I will call Ate Agila, has advised me to stick to foods from my homeland. My spirit helpers, specifically the Owl, explained to me that any being taken as “food” for two-leggeds/humans is part of a bawi (debt/spiritual connection) that was honoured in a ritual of exchange and sacrifice. Foods outside of my homeland, I may not have paid the price for, or my ancestors may not have made the appropriate exchange/deal. This makes a certain sense when you look at the foods I am allergic to, or have become increasingly more allergic to as the years pass. We had water buffalo, not cows. We definitely did not drink cow’s milk, my ancestors. We had no wheat or corn– we ate rice. I still can eat eggs from chickens, who are descended from red jungle fowls, a being originating from my part of the world, perhaps from our ancient sacred being, the Sarimanok itself. For chicken in our dialects are called “manok”. 
    I do not spend enough time with the earth, this I know. I attempt to repair some of the relationship by having an altar to the elements, with shells and rocks from this land and from my homeland. I give offerings to it regularly, as well as to the animals I’ve killed myself (chickens and a pig). But I want to be able to grow food that I can make a meal of. I want to be able to eat miracles, not my terror and sorrow and pain. 
    It is a brutal, vicious circle of feeling disconnected from the rhythms of the earth and the relationality of my people, that drives my body to strife and despair, which is soothed by a mindless consumption, which brings on more pain, which disconnects me further from my body and from the land, which pushes me to eat more…
    This reminds me of when Simpson (2014) wrote of the “hyperindividualism that negates relationality” in the colonial education system of Canada (p. 9). Though I would never dare to presume that my decolonization journey as a Bikol person in the diaspora on Anishinaabe and Haudenosaunee (and Wyandot) lands are equivalent to the indigenous resurgence of Anishinaabeg, I still feel the weight of colonial and settler colonial systems on myself and my people. I am implicated in coloniality, benefiting in one context while oppressed in another. Thus, for me to restore a relationship with my body, I must restore my relationship with food, and for me to restore that relationship, I must restore my relationship to the land, and thus, the caretakers and stewards of the land. I have been blessed in this life for having teachers/Elders of Turtle Island that are Anishinaabe, Haudenosaunee, Mikmaw, Sauk-Fox, and Cherokee– Two Spirit people who have welcomed me in ceremony and adopted me to certain rituals and responsibilities. […] I hope to continue good relations, by supporting the work of the Haudenosaunee at the Six Nations Reserve. I plan to give semaa to those there that are building an Earth Ship. My visions and dreams have told me that this is where my path leads, to working with the Earth for the good of Two Spirit and Trans/Queer Black People and People of Colour. 
    Simpson (2014) asserts that “the land must once again become the pedagogy” (p. 14), and I spend time listening to the Earth and asking her what she wants. She wants me to acknowledge the sovereignty of her caretakers. To mourn all the pain she is enduring. To not let my connection to her be severed, weak as it is. In a vision, the ghost of the land spirits my great-grandparents in Bikol had harmed came to me, and asked me to make amends by pledging myself to the revitalization of the Earth, by being a Warrior and a Guide. So I have accepted, if the curse on my ancestral line is meant to be broken, it would be in this way my family can make amends. I am researching local conservation efforts, cleaning up waste whenever I can, and calling on my relations, like my father and my chosen family who are gardeners, to assist me in reconnecting. I hope to at least grow a mint plant from a seed this summer. In another vision, my great-grandmother Lola Colo (Sabrina Oppiana Estrella), asked me to grow herbs and make them into oils, to follow in her footsteps as a healer. She tells me that it’s not just the sacred nature of the coconut that makes the oil, or the herbs that I grow myself, or the fire that heats them together, but the prayers to each being, and the prayers of love that must be said when the beings are applied to a human’s skin, asking these different agents of creation to repair, restore, and heal. For “when we love the earth, we are are about to love ourselves more fully. I believe this. The ancestors taught me so” (hooks, 2009, p. 34).
    Works Cited
    Hanh, T. N. (2000). Mindful eating. In The path of emancipation (pp. 7-8). Berkeley: Parallax Press.
    hooks, b. (2009). Touching the earth. In Belonging: A culture of place (pp. 34-40). New York: Routledge.
    Simpson, L. B. (2014). Land as pedagogy: Nishnaabeg intelligence and rebellious transformation. Decolonization: Indigeneity, Education & Society, 3(3).

    If you like what you’ve read and want to support healing work among my Elders, teachers, and communities, please subscribe to my Patreon. Link to the original article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/26448785

  • Troubleshoot Tuesday: 3 Signs That You Need to Disengage From Work

    Image Description: A close-up of a road sign that means “no entry”. It is a red circle with a white horizontal stripe on it. Inside the stripe is the title “3 Signs That You Need to Disengage from Work”. Below the title is the URLs “patreon.com/lukayo” and “lukayo.com” in white.

    One reason I decided to write on this topic is as a reminder to myself because I don’t know when to rest. I know when to collapse, when to push myself to exhaustion, when to succumb to sickness, when to grudgingly acknowledge that I need help– but rest? I can go into a lot of reasons why this is so, whether it’s a trauma response, internalized ableism, a learned response to the crushing pressure of competitive capitalism, or my own frenetic brain energy that dominates my body’s gentle signals. But this article isn’t about that. It’s addressed to other workshop facilitators, presenters, and community organizers who also have the same kinds of trouble like me, the types that can notice when a friend is silently grieving or when a community asks for accomplices, but does not notice when they themselves have simply Done. Too. Much.

    Here’s to the rest of us.

    Sign #1: You’ve forgotten the last time you’ve eaten balanced, regular meals, and had rejuvenating sleep, for seven days in a row. 

    This is kind of the basic groundwork needed for most human beings on this planet to function– or so I’m repeatedly told over and over again by relatives, medical professionals, mom-friends, dad-friends, Ancestors, and my cat. Okay, Lukayo, (you ask) but what if you’re a disabled, chronically ill person? Well (I would answer), I too am in a similar situation, and meals and sleep are hard due to my conditions. I would also ask you to think real hard about the fact that if you have a hard time sleeping or eating, should your priority be workshop facilitation, or going to your medical appointments and working on recovery/treatment? Might be time to disengage. Which brings me to…

    Sign #2: You keep setting aside what’s important and not urgent for what’s urgent but not important.

    This is one of the things I read in the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that was helpful because it really put into perspective this crisis mentality that I’m in, that there’s a difference between important and urgent. Important is what’s true to your value system, your larger goal and purpose in the world, and how you align your actions with that. Urgent is something that is time-sensitive. Some things are both important and urgent, and definitely should be worked on right away, like a grant application for community-run program that is sorely needed and that you’re emotionally invested in. Some things are neither important nor urgent, like watching Youtube videos that mildly irritate you but you do it because you’re bored.

    The tricky thing is the important-not-urgent and the urgent-not-important. The first is something like doing martial arts every day to support your body’s strength and stamina and self-protection, while the second is an angry feedback Tweet on a presentation you did. Do you stop doing this important thing that’s part of how you feel healthy and safe because you’re stuck in a crisis mentality that jumps from one urgent thing to another, regardless of importance? Are you answering every angry or dismissive review of your work personally and spending tons of time and emotional labour crafting perfect paragraphs on people’s Facebook walls? Might be time to disengage.

    Sign #3: You keep making more mistakes than you have time to repair them.

    Also related to the previous example and Signs #1 and Signs #2, because if you’re not getting a lot of sleep or eating what you need, then, like me, you tend to not check-in with community members when you need to, or forget important slides in your Powerpoint, or double-check that you printed out your notes. Then you’re perpetuating a crisis mentality as you’re trying to put out fires that start and end with you. It starts to get into a cycle, too, where folks become more disappointed with your work, and you try harder by de-prioritizing sleep, food, and the important-not-urgent stuff, which can cause more mistakes, which creates more pressure to repair them and work harder… you get the picture. Time to disengage.

    So what should you do? Is the answer to always disengage?

    Disengaging from your workshop facilitator life or community organizer role is easier said than done. We’ve got families to feed, medications to pay for, surgeries to fund, and dreams to fulfill. If you can’t fully move back from your work, consider disengaging for a little bit to re-think your priorities and schedule them back into your life, while finding ways to delegate what isn’t important to you or what doesn’t absolutely need your supervision to do. Maybe someone else can aggregate all the social media feedback for you and can come up with a strategic response? Maybe someone else can make that poster for the event or print out your materials? If delegating tasks doesn’t seem feasible, then consider disengaging to weigh outcomes and risk. Is what I’m doing sustainable? Will I burn out and land myself in the hospital, which would take more away from my life than if I just scaled down my work to a workshop per month, one steering committee, and going on social assistance?

    This stuff isn’t easy and I don’t have all the answers, mostly because if you’re running workshops and doing community organizing, chances are you’re part of communities that are in constant crisis, and that crisis mentality is catching, even if you’re aware of it, even if you don’t want to be a part of it. I find it easier when I have other folks who are also trying to disengage, regroup, re-prioritize. We can work collectively to remember that rest is a form of resistance (check out restforresistance.com for more inspiration along those lines).

    What signs do you notice that help you to disengage before you hit burn-out? What are your troubleshooting strategies around doing too much?

    If you like what you’ve read and want to support healing work among my Elders, teachers, and communities, please subscribe to my Patreon. Link to the original article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/26493515

  • Musings Monday: On Healing Justice & Sacred Activism (Part 1 of 5)

    Image Description: A stick of upright incense in a bowl on a wooden table. The smoke curls in the shape of a heart against a black background. The title on the image reads: “On Healing Justice & Sacred Activism” with the URLs “lukayo.com” and “patreon.com/lukayo“.

    (This article is one of a 5-part series written in the spring of 2017 for a spirituality and social work class.)

    I watched the incense unfurl, twisting and coiling in beams of sunlight, my gaze intent on the shapes, my mind a two-fold step– I followed the movement of smoke and used it as a means to cleanse myself of the incessant chatter of thoughts. When thoughts came to me, I watched its movement as I did the incense. I observed the twirling and contracting of ideas and my body’s responses. I noticed the sharp pains and dull aches, the quivering fears and brisk bullet-points of things-to-do, the observations of observations. While images wafted into my consciousness, gentle chants of “I am here, I am witnessing” or a single violet flame or the feel of my wooden staff (crowned with tourmaline and black wire), any or all of these grounding techniques returned my attention to my being, my wholeness, my Self. My body-focused prayers of Dignity, Community, Ancestry, Legacy, and Commitment began each 10-minute period of reflection, silence, and meditation. I carried meaning with me like the staff I held in my hands. The chant of ulililang kaluluwa, galang kaluluwa, bathala, bathala, bathala was the sacred meaning-making of the coconut smoke that wreathed my body. My attention and meditation a silent chant; the flow of life within and without like wisps of coconut incense.

    This daily practice reminds me of who I am. My trauma — my soul wounds — sometimes spread through my body, mind, and spirit like a poison, fracturing my wholeness, yanking my behaviour into incomplete performances against threats long vanished. Rage, terror, grief– these cords that pull me to and fro, mindless and in agony, refusing to let me rest, dream, care, or seek comfort. But when I do this daily practice, a practice combining ancestral teachings, energy healer training, and an exercise given to me by my somatics trauma counselor, I am whole again. My soul wounds are given some time to heal. I am reminded of what I am before the wounding, beyond the wounding. I am shown what still remains after destruction and loss. From this point of stillness and meaning, I move through the world connected and compassionate and myself. From this seed, I can grow.

    Canda and Furman (1999) write about three steps regarding our responses that are part of being in reflective silence (p. xxiii). Remen (1999) discusses “healing the shadow of a culture” through rituals of grief and gratitude (pp. 38-44). Kumar (2004) introduces concepts of nourishing soil, society, and self from the teachings within the Bhagavad Gita (pp. 74-82). To me, these are all connected. My Commitment to Justice, Protection, Nurturing– they must first grow in reflective silence. Understanding my responses interpersonally and to systems of oppression can be a step towards connection and compassion, or towards the cultural shadow of mastery and control. For my own growth, I aim to redirect myself to the former when I notice that I am responding mechanically to the latter. So often in social (justice) work, it becomes more of the righteous and who is in control instead of healing, education, nourishment, and transforming our responses beyond the familiar subroutines of oppressive dynamics.

    It is a dream of mine to heal cultural shadows with rituals that honour loss and celebrate what we have in life. Influenced by the work of Renee Linklater’s (2014) Decolonizing Trauma Work book, I have already begun the outlines of what it means to work with the cultural traumas of my own people, the Bikol people in the diaspora and in the homeland, and of the various Filipino diasporic peoples within the settler colonial state of Canada. It occurs to me, when reading Remen’s work, that there are complicated intersections of wounding– that a Filipino doctor will have the wounding of the medical culture as well as the colonization of the Philippines on her spirit. A disabled trans Bikol poet, like myself, must handle the woundings of medical culture in a different way (the receiving end of the power dynamic as opposed to a medical professional’s institutional power), but still share the wounds of colonization, while having different wounds specific to cissexism/transphobia, and the Bikol people within the larger context of the Philippine islands. As a wounded healer, Remen’s words has given me new insight, like the first time I read of the individual symptoms of soul wounds (what allopathic Western science calls “trauma”). Now I can see the variety of cultural wounds that exist. I begin to feel the connections, the swelling tide of compassion inside, the nourishing desire for rituals to heal, to grow, or just to witness such grave and vast losses.

    Kumar connects the Gita’s teachings to my own Bikol ancestral teachings, of the interconnectedness of all things, similar to the Bikol word bawi, which can mean debt and connection to the land, the spirits, the dead, all living things, each other. A parabawi, one of my many ancestral gifts and modes of healing, is the person who mediates between their communities debts to the rest of the world, be it plant, animal, ancestor, deity, or the spirits within themselves– mistakenly sometimes only seen as a simple exorcist. But my training as a parabawi, my understanding of bawi, teaches me that we must nourish and replenish and give back, through offering and right relationship, what we take every day through our mere existence. Critical social work is just another mode of the healing that is part of my heritage and the service I delight in, that I have a responsibility to administer, that I know is part of how I give back. I am stimulated and inspired by the examples Kumar outlines– it spurs the urge to plant trees while having more sleep and solitude retreats and fasting. My heart responds to these road signs along my path to transformation and healing. From that inner peace, I hope to give forth compassion. From that return to wholeness, I hope to offer guidance to others on their own healing, on their own return to a whole self.

    Works Cited

    Canda, E. R., and Furman, L. D. (1999). Spiritual diversity in social work practice: the heart of helping. New York: Free Press.

    Kumar, S. (2004). Soil, soul, society. In You are therefore I am: A declaration of dependence (pp. 74-82). Totnes, England: Green Books.

    Linklater, R. (2014). Decolonizing trauma work: indigenous stories and strategies. Nova Scotia: Fernwood Publishing.

    Remen, R. N. (1999). Educating for mission, meaning and compassion. In S. Glazer (Ed.), The heart of learning: spirituality in education (pp. 33-50). New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam.

    If you like what you’ve read and want to support healing work among my Elders, teachers, and communities, please subscribe to my Patreon. Link to the original article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/26446788

  • Fresh Friday: Bitoon

    Before the word “trauma” was taken from the Greeks
    By the English and brought to
    Luzon and Bisayan shores
    via American false promises of salvation
    My people knew it already
    In the stories of creation
    I knew it already
    In the rhythm of my family’s name

    When I listen to these social workers
    and doctors and psychiatrists
    Speak on their theories of wounding
    I sense they cannot begin to imagine
    The layers of what being called “Estrella” means.
    This colonizing Spanish word,
    with my English-Canadian tongue,
    I tell people it is the Bikol Bitoon (BEE-TOE-OHN)
    with a hard-headed snap
    “I am Lukayo Bitoon– it means Trickster Star”.

    But what it means is more than just a “star”
    What it means is light and heat, loss and rage,
    So much emptiness in vast spaces
    So much grief in mistakes that can never be undone
    So much power and grace reaching through time
    What it means is trauma
    And so much more than trauma

    Bitoon was the youngest grandchild of Languit and Tubigan
    Torn asunder into millions upon millions
    Of glittering fragments
    Torn asunder from misplaced rage,
    From a betrayal she had never been a part of
    To know Bitoon, to even see a fraction of her,
    Above us, shining through what seems like impossible distances,
    Is to know trauma and what happens after

    Astrology and astronomy have become my love languages
    My prayers to my oldest ancestors
    My conversations with Bitoon as I lay my head on her lap
    The constellation of her hair twinkling around me
    Where skeptics see scams and scientists see expanding points
    Where warmongers see resources to weaponize
    And fortunetellers see portents to monetize

    I see my family
    And she does not tell me all wounds will heal perfectly
    She does not tell me that which is broken apart can
    come back together in the end
    (She is infinitely growing after all)
    She simply exists as a testament to what she has become
    And is becoming
    As she holds all my pain and joys in the glow of her light

    If you liked what you read, click on the link below and become a monthly patron to gain access to archived poetry, workshop materials, and more. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders and healers that mentor me.

  • Update: Still Chronically Ill

    Hello folks, I want to apologize that I haven’t been keeping up with this website and Patreon due to increasing chronic illness and disability, and that I am packing up and moving from Tkaronto/Toronto back to Odaawaa/Ottawa in the next two months.

    The good news is that I found a lot of old art, poetry, and workshop material I can post! The not-so-great news is that I still haven’t sent out the packages to patrons yet. If you’re still waiting on your package, please email me your address so I can mail something out to you as soon as possible at lukayo.estrella@gmail.com. If you prefer a digital package to snail mail, indicate that in your email and I will send you everything immediately.

    In the meantime, as a way to make it up to folks, I’ll be posting mostly free and public content here for awhile. If you like what you read, please subscribe as a patron to get the archived content and support healing work among my Elders, teachers, and communities.

    Thanks so much for your patience and understanding!

  • Workshop Wednesday (Pt 3): Direct Action

    This is a visual tool that gives the basic outline and/or check-list on putting together a direct action. Though direct actions can be violent (such as sabotage and property destruction) and non-violent (such as strikes, sit-ins, and blockades), the goal is always to stop, change, or reveal an oppressive institutional mechanism.

    This tool is best presented with the tools on Inclusive Policies & Procedures and Inclusive Programming.

    Activity Idea

    Divide the group into three, and assign each group one of each of the following posters:  Dis/Ableism 101, the Pillars of White Supremacy, and The Gender Binary. Each group then has to work as a small collective on planning a direct action against an institutional form of the oppression they were assigned.

    Poster Description

    The top half of the poster is in indigo, and the lower half of the poster is in mauve.

    In the indigo section there are pale purple graphics like a sliced up circle on the left corner and a jagged line on the right. In white there is the title “Direct Action”. Below the title are three black and white photos. The first photo has a notebook open with some drawings of stick figures and the word “PLANNING” written down by a light-skinned hand holding a pen. Underneath that photo is the word “PRE-ACTION”. The second photo has a dark-skinned fist raised in the foreground; the background has people, one holding a megaphone, in front of buildings and trees. Underneath that photo are the words “DURING ACTION”. The third photo has dark-skinned hands typing on a laptop. Underneath the photo are the words “POST ACTION”.

    In the mauve section of the poster are three columns of indigo words, as well as “lukayo.com” and “patreon.com/lukayo” at the bottom right corner of the poster in pale purple.

    The first column under the title “PRE-ACTION” has the following text:

    ” – set goals
    – get different kinds of training
    – fundraising
    – research/info gathering
    – scouting
    – create group and assign roles
    – legal support plan
    – action plans and safety plans
    – get clear on messaging
    – acquire appropriate gear
    – outreach initiatives”

    The second column under the title “DURING ACTION” has the following text:

    “- transportation
    – provisions (food, medical, etc)
    – internal process, external lookout, and communications
    – legal observer
    – documentation (notes, photos, videos)
    – public liaison (flyers, etc.)
    – media (press release, update)
    – stage director
    – police liaison”

    The third column under the title “POST ACTION” has the following text:

    “- legal and jail support
    – collect documentation
    – report back, debrief, next steps
    – post press release
    – collect gear back
    – update website, write articles, and explain how to duplicate the action for others
    – contact media
    – celebrate!”

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2019 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/25012822

  • Workshop Wednesday (Pt 2): Inclusive Programming

    This is a visual tool that gives the basic outline on how to plan an inclusive program or event. Ideally, events and programming would center those most affected by the issue that the event is about, as well as have them in leadership positions, so they would not have to be considered simply “included”.

    Events, whether they’re knowledge exchanges, presentations, gatherings, or celebrations, are ways that folks can build the communities and anti-oppressive world that we want. That’s why I think it’s so important that our events have to reflect our anti-oppressive theory and prevent the perpetuation of further exclusion and marginalization.

    This tool is best presented with the tools on Inclusive Policies & Procedures and Direct Action.

    Activity Idea

    Divide the group into three, and assign each group one of each of the following posters: Dis/Ableism 101, the Pillars of White Supremacy, and The Gender Binary.  Each group then has to work as a small collective on planning an event centered on or raising awareness about the specific oppression they were assigned.

    Poster Description

    The poster has a turquoise header and footer, with the center having a white background. The header, in dark grey font, has the title “INCLUSIVE PROGRAMMING”. In the footer, in white font, has “lukayo.com” and “patreon.com/lukayo“.

    There are three columns, with a turquoise title and dark grey text.

    The first column has the following text:

    “CONSULTATION
    – If possible, consult with leaders/Elders of the territory you are on and invite them to be part of the programming
    – If this event is not about some that affects you and your demographic, ensure that the marginalized folks it is about are consulted and are in leadership positions”

    The second column has the following text:

    “PROMOTION
    -Acknowledgement of the territory the event is on and accountability statement regarding treaties
    – Acknowledgement of any cultures the event supports and/or is inspired by (e.g. hip hop and Black Liberation)
    – If possible, translate to different languages and include diverse people in images
    – Tailor different promo to different people
    – Make accessibility notes and apologize for inaccessible aspects”

    The third column has the following text:

    “EVENT ITSELF
    – Diverse hosts/speakers
    – Quiet room / children’s room
    – Support staff and crisis protocols
    – Name tags and pronoun stickers/buttons
    – Clear signage and announcements about all accessibility notes
    – If applicable, follow protocols of  indigenous Elders and speakers
    – Ensure ways people can get home safely
    – Feedback forms in person and online”

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2019 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/25012437

  • Workshop Wednesday (Pt 1): Inclusive Policies & Procedures

    This is a visual tool that gives a basic outline on how to plan the sections for creating inclusive policies and procedures for your organization, collective, or group. Ideally, these policies and procedures would center those most affected by the mission and ideals of the group, as well as have them in leadership positions, so they would not have to be considered simply “included”.

    Having something written down ensures that even if individual members of the group leaves, these words can continue afterwards as part of the group’s story, a record that helps guide new members to live out the group’s ideals. On top of that, when the group needs to align more with its ideals, the policies can be changed to continue to reflect the growth of the group.

    This tool is best presented with the tools on Inclusive Programming and Direct Action.

    Activity Idea

    Divide the group into three, and assign each group one of each of the following posters: Dis/Ableism 101, the Pillars of White Supremacy, and The Gender Binary. Each group then has to work as a small collective writing policies and procedures to combat the specific oppression they were assigned within their organization.

    Poster Description

    The main colours are white and orange. At the top of the post is the word “INCLUSIVE”. The is a dark orange and light orange box underneath the word.

    In the dark orange box, in white font, is the following text:

    “POLICIES

    MISSION STATEMENT/MANDATE
    – What is your organization about? (Empowerment? Rights? Protection?)

    GOAL/PURPOSE
    – What is this policy for? (Attitudes, knowledges, practices, etc.)
    – Who is it for? (Board, clients, staff, guests, etc.)

    PRINCIPLES/VALUES
    – Ex: diversity, equity, anti-discrimination, democratic, anarchistic, collaborative, etc.,

    POLICY STATEMENT
    – State the situation/problem and solution

    DEFINITIONS/TERMS”

    In the light orange box, in dark orange font, is the following text:

    “PROCEDURES

    COMMITMENTS/AREAS OF FOCUS
    – Governance (representation
    – Employment (equitable access)
    -Services (equitable access)
    – Training & Education (for providers serving clients)
    – Info & Communication (for diverse communities about the services)
    – Complaints & Accountability (for organization and providers to be accountable to the community and each other)

    SPACE
    – ensure accessibility

    TERMINOLOGY
    – Update staff, forms, manuals, and other documentation”

    At the bottom of the poster, in dark orange font, has “lukayo.com” and “patreon.com/lukayo“.

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2019 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/25011935

The site will be down Friday, June 12th from 8pm until Midnight EST for webhost transfer and maintenance.

Got it!
X