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  • Throwback Thursday: Mnemosyne’s Carcass

    Artwork from Mnemosyne’s Carcass, a zine I published in 2005 with my original illustrations and some creative non-fiction rambling.

    Image Descriptions

    The first scan is of the cover and back cover of a black and white ‘zine/chapbook. The cover is an inked drawing of a pale woman with pale hair. The title is “being fey #4” and the subtitle is “MNEMOSYNE’S CARCASS”. On the back cover is a poem in heavily stylized font. This is the poem:

    “This is for Mnemosyne
    the Goddess of Memory
    whose sullen carcass lies in my
    mind
    riddled by the carrion birds
    of elusive Time
    so that my Ever-Present is
    assaulted by the stench
    of her rotting immortality

    here’s to you, Mnemosyne!
    for leaving
    only broken bits
    of me
    to remember.”

    At the bottom of the poem there is a logo of an eye bursting out of stitches and the words “NEKUSIS PUBLISHING”.

    Wanna see the rest of the artwork from this zine? Better yet, want to commission me to draw something for you? Click on the link to become a patron. For as little as $1/month you can support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21843836

  • Workshop Wednesday: Recognizing Privilege

    This basic visual tool for sighted folks is best used for anti-oppression 101 workshops, and can be used as an alternative (or side-by-side) with privilege check-lists, privilege games and gaming analogies, and storytelling/group work activities. I especially like to use the handout Towards Healing All Our Relations / To Equalize Power Among Us by Margo Adair and Sharon Howell (Tools for Change) with this poster.

    I go deeper into the intricacies of teaching the anti-oppressive concept of privilege in my article The P-Word, but I’ll briefly quote relevant parts regarding privilege check-lists below, end with an image description of the poster, and a photo of the original.

    the point of explaining privilege is not to make people feel bad– it’s to realize the secret powers they never knew they had that can be used for the consensual benefit of their friends, loved ones, and communities.

    Whether it’s the White Privilege Knapsack or the Power Flower or PrivilegeWalk/StepForward/Across the Grass, there is a checklist, diagram, or activity out there that lists all the possible privileges people may or may not have. The privilege checklists have become more nuanced, as well, with lists on ableism, transmisogyny, ageism, and neurotypicalism/saneism. Here’s a good list of lists from Not Actually a Liberal.

    Pros:

    For people who have never thought of privilege before or can’t even imagine how they could be privileged, these lists lay it out in clear and concise terms.

    Cons:

    Taken on their own, without a discussion about how these privileges can be used to help others that don’t have them, these lists and activities make people feel angry, guilty, and all sorts of feelings that need to be worked through before they even consider building allyship (or become accomplices) with others.

    The lists lack nuance. They’re pretty one-dimensional, so it’s hard to illustrate how oppressions and privileges can intersect with each other, and how different institutions may enforce different kinds of barriers and oppression. For example, someone who doesn’t have white privilege but is able-bodied may have a completely different interaction with the able-bodied checklist than somebody who is able-bodied and white. Or they may not. Context also matters.

    For folks that have multiple oppressions, having to go through these privilege checklists during a workshop can be really triggering, reminding them of all the painful, humiliating, violent, and exclusionary bullshit they have to go through on a daily basis. Because of this, I would suggest making sure that you bring multiple checklists so that folks choose to read the privilege that they have, a technique taught to me by Jade Pichette, another great anti-oppression facilitator.

    Poster Description

    The background is bright purple. There is a paler purple rectangle that serves as the title of the poster, and then below it is three black squares in a vertical line with pictures in them. To the right of the squares are blocks of white text and aqua blue headers. The title of the poster is “RECOGNIZING PRIVILEGE” with the first word in aqua blue and the second word in black. There is a sub-title in white that reads “learning how we can support others using advantages given to us by unfair systems”. There are two stylized bright purple magnifying glasses that are part of the title, which merge with the rest of the poster. The first black square has a stylized white picture of a lock and a shield/badge overlaid together. The header reads “SAFETY & SECURITY”. The text reads “In certain institutions and spaces, is your safety prioritized? Does the demographic you belong to face less violence than others? Is the majority of institutional leaders from your demographic? Are prisons and police not a major concern? Is exploitation of your demographic from institutions not a regular occurrence?” The second black square has a stylized white key in it. The header reads “INCLUSION & ACCESS”. The text reads “Are you the standard client most services are made for? Are institutional policies built around your needs and you navigate them with ease? Do you find there are a variety of options for your medical, legal, educational, business, domestic, entertainment, spiritual, and romantic needs?” The final black square has a stylized white speech bubble with a smiley face inside. The header reads “DIVERSE POSITIVE MESSAGING”. The text reads “Are people in your demographic represented by the media, politics, and business in a generally positive way? Do you find that new people you meet almost never harbour stereotypes about you so stereotypes don’t bother you? Do you feel you can achieve your dreams without institutional obstacles?” The bottom of the poster has the links “patreon.com/lukayo” and “lukayo.com” in aqua blue.

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2018 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21819455

  • Musings Monday: 3 Lessons on Survivor Culture

    Content warning: discussions on rape culture and sexual abuse

    Image Description: Four hands are holding each other’s wrists in a square-like shape. Half the hands are dark-skinned, and the other lighter-skinned. In the background is a blurry field of pink flowers and green grass and greyish-blue sky. The text reads: “3 Lessons on Survivor Culture” and “patreon.com/lukayo – lukayo.com”.

    Every time there’s a media frenzy surrounding sexual predators, I inevitably get triggered and need to hide under a blanket cocoon with carefully catered books and Youtube videos and/or to visit a counselor. I toy with the possibility of spilling out my own stories of sexual assault, messaging my sexual abusers demanding an accountability process, naming my sexual abusers (one of which was a friend of a large number of people in my queer gamer polyamorous social circles in Ottawa/Odaawaa), or any number of things that, still, to this day, does not involve calling the police on anyone involved. I didn’t call the police before because of how the rape culture that surrounded me (and that I had internalized) insisted I was to blame and that I deserved it, and I don’t call the police now because of my prison abolitionist and transformative justice views (though no shame to folks that need to do it in dire circumstances). To this day, it isn’t the existence of sexual predators being highlighted in the media as the trigger for my flashbacks, but the rape-culture-fuelled reactions that send me spiraling into a world where I was taught my very dignity and safety was never mine to have.

    Ultimately, I’m not interested in sharing with you my own story because I’m not convinced that it will be useful for me or for you. I think the only statistically concerning things from my experiences is that all of my perpetrators were white or white-passing, and possibly exotified me because of my “brownness” and/or “Asianness”. Many were cisgender men, and all had a relationship or identity with (toxic) masculinity. However, the reasons for violating me ranged from my perceived masculinity, my perceived femininity, or my perceived androgyny. I think discussing how whiteness, toxic masculinity, the objectification of transgender folks and/or femmes, and rape culture needs to be deconstructed is important work. But that’s not what I want to write about today, simply because I don’t have the energy or desire to, and I would rather see my white masculine allies who aren’t survivors doing this work among their social circles (though if my white masculine survivor friends feel this is part of their healing journey, I’d encourage them too).

    What I, personally, find helpful, is talking about survivor culture, and how it saved and continues to save my life. The three lessons I want to share today is about how focusing on survivor culture itself instead of rape culture is healing, how “being on the side of the survivor(s)” is complicated –especially when there’s more than one involved or they’re accusing each other–, and how sometimes losing community is part of healing.

    Read the rest of the article here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/21779114

  • Throwback Thursday: Sticks & Stones

    Image Description: A black-and-white ink drawing of two dark-skinned hands holding each other. The hands are framed in a diamond/square, where each side of the diamond/square is made of different things. On the bottom, the left side is made of a long stick and the right side is made out of stones, rocks, and pebbles. On the top, the left side is made out of a sword (specifically a tabak/machete from Bicol, Luzon, Philippines), and the right side is made out of a robotic arm. The font has the title “STICKS & STONES” twice, following the borders of the diamond/square. Lukayo’s signature in English and basahan/baybayin is inside the frame, near the side made out of stones.

    Content Warning: sui* ideation, bullying, violence

    Sticks & Stones (Original 2008, Updated 2018)

    [sung in the original “sticks and stones” rhyme]
    Sticks and stones may break my bones
    And words can cut and hurt me
    But if I know I’m not alone
    Then my strength won’t desert me
    [/end song]

    She is sitting in a bathroom stall, holding her insides in
    Cradling her guts in her arms, waiting for the slaughter to begin
    She knows it’s too late
    They’ve got her surrounded
    There’s nothing left to do
    But let the crowd in
    And take her
    Down

    He’s standing by the door, getting ready to gear up
    He puts each armor plate in place, helmet down, fear tucked
    Deep inside metal and machine
    They can’t touch him here
    Covered up, unseen
    To face them
    Down

    How did she get to this place? She wonders.
    It began with a swarm, of dead flesh and stark hunger
    Ambushed, slammed, pushed—she started fighting
    Drew her sword, steel flashing bright lightning
    Cut them to pieces but still they kept coming
    And now she’s grown tired, tired of running

    How did he get to this place? He wonders.
    In a suit of mecha, marching down the street like thunder
    They launch missiles at him, but they bounce off his shields
    Damage done to the outer core, so he adjusts his data fields
    The enemy gathers their forces, amassing might and clout
    He has to come out sometime, and so they’ll wait him out

    All alone she kneels, the blade pressed to her skin
    Cuz she’d rather die with dignity than let any of them win
    She’d rather let her blood run out and cut off her own head
    Than let them make her just like them– unrelenting, cold, undead

    And the tanks, the jet fighters, the bombs and the blasts
    Hound him through city rubble, shields failing at last
    In one final attempt, he seeks refuge in the forbidden
    Hoping they won’t follow, hoping he’ll stay hidden

    And she comes out, a warrior, ready for a final sacrifice
    And he climbs out of his robot suit, confused and wide-eyed

    She says: “What the hell are you doing in the girl’s washroom?”

    He says: “Why are you standing there holding a knife to your wrist?”

    And they look at each other and see the bruises, the blisters,
    His broken glasses, the trash in his hair, the scrapes on her fists

    And they look at each other, and slowly, so tentative
    She reaches out her hand, and he looks at it, contemplative

    She whispers, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, I know how to fight.”
    But he shakes his head while he squeezes her hand tight.

    “I know what’s outside, and what’s waiting for us
    It’s not like the movies or anime or the comic books
    Sometimes the grown-ups don’t come, sometimes we’re left on our own
    Sometimes there are too many zombies and robotic drones
    And I know we’re just kids and we’ve done nothing wrong
    We just look different and sing and dance to different songs
    But sometimes you have to stop running,
    Sometimes you have to stop fighting
    And hold your head high
    Sometimes you have to be the example,
    by ignoring their lies

    Cuz sticks and stones may break my bones
    And words can cut and hurt me
    But if I know I’m not alone
    Then my strength won’t desert me.”

    And with that, they walked hand in hand, outside.

    Wanna hear the rest of the poem or get a larger version of the art piece? Better yet, want to commission me to write a poem and draw something for you? Click on the link to become a patron. For as little as $1/month you can support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21682579

  • Workshop Wednesday: Systems That Spread Empire & Oppression

    This poster is a visual tool for sighted folks that can be used in conjunction with The Taking Tree tool or separately as a way to explain how oppression based on Western empire has spread and continues to spread by capitalism, franchise colonialism, settler colonialism, and neo-colonialism. The purpose of this tool is to add another nuance and dimension in understanding how oppression works, with the end goal of discovering ways to resist and transform it.

    Activity Ideas

    • Group Work: Divide participants into two groups, with one of them explaining the different iterations of capitalism since it began roughly 200 years ago, and the other group explaining colonialism and its two main types (franchise and settler). As part of their presentations, have them search for historical and current examples using news articles. After they present to each other, ask all of the participants to explain how the two systems combine to create neo-colonialism, and how some of their examples can be changed to reflect a neo-colonial process as opposed to simply a capitalist or colonial process. Remember to give your own examples of neo-colonialism to help the participants along. If you need examples, message me on my Patreon page or send me an email.
    • Puppet Theatre (Intro): You can either use puppets or have participants do the group activity above, but with puppets. The reason I suggest using puppets instead of having the participants act it out is because it reduces re-traumatization of participants who have lived through generations of colonialism and/or capitalistic exploitation. Please have supports in place in case it is still triggering for folks. As for the puppets, they can be as simple as a set of objects like markers representing people, and two desks representing different areas of land.
    • Puppet Theatre (Migration & Colonization): Start the puppet show with explaining migration by moving the group of people from one land to another. Then explain colonization by having two areas of land, then one group (orange markers) topples the second group (green markers) and declares control of both pieces of land. Franchise colonialism can be explained with the first land filled with orange markers and the second land filled with green markers and one or two orange markers controlling the rest of the green markers and having them send money back to the first land, where the money can be represented by scrap paper. Settler colonialism can be represented by green markers being killed off through engineered diseases or murder, so that more orange markers can take up that area of land, that way the scrap paper doesn’t have to be sent over, they can just enjoy the land and all the scrap paper that comes with it.
    • Puppet Theatre (Capitalism): When explaining capitalism, add an extra object, like erasers, and another set of puppets– perhaps blue markers. Have one orange marker declare that it “owns the means of production” by writing on a piece of paper that it owns this entire piece of land (one of the desks) and all the rubber trees that grow there. The orange marker lives on the other piece of land without the rubber trees, but hires green markers to work and pick the trees. The blue markers haves scrap paper, i.e. money. The orange marker makes a second declaration, that the green markers will earn a “wage”, that is, for every hour they work, they will receive one scrap of paper. Then, the orange marker makes a third declaration, that erasers made from the rubber trees will cost 5 scraps of paper. All the green markers work for an hour and each produces an eraser. A blue marker buys an eraser from the green markers and hands the orange marker 5 scraps of paper for each eraser. The orange marker gives out 1 scrap of paper to each green marker. Where does the rest of the scraps of paper go? To the orange marker. Have a discussion with the participants about how they would enact the corporate side of capitalism with the puppets, as well as how the green markers can fight for their labour rights if one scrap of paper per hour isn’t a living or thriving wage. For an added bonus, you can also show how capitalism is related to slavery by having the orange marker refuse to give any scraps of paper to the green markers, and keep all the paper scraps to themselves while threatening the green markers with death if they stop working.

    Description

    The poster is beige, with font in dark blue. There are four dark blue rectangles with white font inside, and three large circles with dark blue shadowed effects. One circle is orange, the other green, and the bottom one yellow. The title of the poster reads “SYSTEMS THAT SPREAD EMPIRE & OPPRESSION”. The orange circle has a dark blue rectangle near the top of it that reads “FRANCHISE COLONIALISM”. Inside the orange circle is text that reads “Foreign invaders that exploit and rule with violence + indigenous majority and/or stolen/enslaved indigenous majority”. The yellow circle, which is attached to the orange circle, continues with text that reads ” + genocide/depopulation and apartheid segregation of indigenous/original inhabitants + settlers taking over the now “vacant” land”. The yellow circle has a dark blue rectangle attached to it that reads “SETTLER COLONIALISM”. The green circle on the right of the poster has a dark blue rectangle with the text “CAPITALISM”. Inside the green circle is the following text: “wage labour + worker exploitation + production for exchange and profit + private ownership of means of production + corporations treated as legal persons”. There is a dark blue rectangle that touches all three circles, and it reads “NEO-COLONIALISM”. At the bottom right of the poster is text that reads “PATREON.COM/LUKAYO” and “LUKAYO.COM“.

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2018 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21656301

  • Musings Monday: My Healing Work

    Who do I serve?

    I generally offer healing for my family, friends, and members that I’m in spiritual groups with. This may change once I become a registered social worker, in that I will only be able to offer “traditional” healing to them and not anything that can be described as social work or counseling. I also serve particular communities and offer healing work to them. The main community I support is anyone who has ancestry from what is colonially known as the Philippines. The secondary community I support is anyone who has identities and experiences that are not heterosexual and/or not cisgender, and who also identifies as Black and/or Indigenous and/or a Person of Colour (often under the acronyms of QTBIPOC, QTIBPOC, and 2SQTBIPOC). If you fall outside of those communities, I can still offer healing to you, just know that I prioritize my communities because of how they support me and receive very little support or access to the kinds of healing they want and need. This means that I tend to book community members first, and those outside of those communities will be put on a waiting list or booked further down in the month.

    Where do I serve?

    Currently, as of September 2018, I mostly serve within the Tkaronto/Toronto region, in the territories of the Tionontati, Wyandot, Haudenosaunee, and Anishinaabe. Anywhere that I can get to using the GO Train is acceptable, and I prefer to travel to people personally, as my home is not particularly accessible to receive visitors. On occasion, I will travel to the Odaawaa/Ottawa region, in unceded and unsurrendered Algonquin territory, but because it is not on a regular basis, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to see you when I visit. I can do some forms of healing long distance, over chat, Skype, Google Hangouts, Facebook video, or the phone– though that would mostly be emotional support and active listening. If you would prefer I come to visit your town/city, contact me to organize a weekend pay-what-you-can retreat for your local community and I would be happy to run group rituals and sessions with your people.

    When do I serve?

    Currently, I have a part-time job and I do not offer healing all the time. If you would like spiritual and religious healing sessions, Tuesdays and Fridays are best, with occasional Sundays for emergencies. For all other kinds of healing, I can visit you or meet with you on whatever day is most convenient for your schedule. I need at least 48 hours to book in advance, though if I am having a particularly busy month, it may take two weeks for me to visit you in person.

    Why do I serve?

    Everyone and anyone has the capacity to heal. I believe that healers are vessels for the work, and healing works through them. I also believe that though we all have capacity, we all have different gifts to offer based on life experiences, training, and inheritance. I serve because of the gifts I have in working with spirits and energy, partly inherited from my great-grandmother Sabrina Oppiana Estrella, my great-aunt Adelina Estrella Albaniel, and my grandmother Lorenza Olivario Estrella. As a baby, my family was attacked by an aswang, and in surviving that attack, it initiated life-long sickness that would eventually lead me on a path of compassion for others and learning as many ways as possible to heal myself. Whatever I have learned on my healing journey, I share freely with others.

    What happens in a healing session?

    The first thing I do is try to make you as comfortable as possible by asking questions. Are you okay with eye contact? How is the volume of my voice? Am I sitting too close or too far? Do you want me facing you or beside you? Do you want to be sitting, lying down, or on the floor? Do you want me to be in a closed space or do you want the door open? Do you prefer to be touched, i.e. your hand held, or do you prefer no touch at all? Would you like a blanket? Would you like some water or tea? Would you like to rearrange anything in the room?

    Once it’s established that you feel as comfortable as you can in the environment we’re both in, I then talk a little bit about transparency, confidentiality, and the taboos that I’m under. I will tell you that according to the laws of the land, I am obligated to report to the authorities of the land if I find out about active suicidal ideation, active intent to harm, or harm to a minor, otherwise I could be prosecuted and jailed, so please consider carefully what you disclose to me. I have spiritual taboos where I cannot set a price for spiritual healing and accept donations only. I also cannot eat meat unless I have killed and prayed over the animal myself, or it was killed and prayed over by people I trust. I cannot partake of any drug (including alcohol, coffee, chocolate, green tea, black tea, etc.) unless prescribed by a doctor or unless it is part of a ritual. I also cannot do any form of healing if I am severely sick or injured in any way, to ensure that that energy does not pass to you. If we happen to meet outside of the healing session, I will not approach you to respect your privacy, unless you approach me first. Once I become a registered social worker, there may also be other regulations that I will have to disclose to you so that you understand the limitations that I am restrained by in our healing work together.

    After that, I ask you what healing means to you. If you need more probing questions, I may ask specifics, like what kind of healing have you received in the past, what did you like, and what did you not like. Do you prefer Western healing in the form of counseling and coaching? Do you prefer spiritual, religious, traditional, pagan, and/or indigenous forms of healing? Do you prefer healing justice work?

    If you prefer more Westernized approaches, I explain how I use anti-oppressive practice (AOP), narrative therapy, cognitive and dialectical behavioural therapy (CBT/DBT), somatics, peer support, emotional release, and the arts. This means that we can discuss how outside social forces contribute to your problems, talk a lot about how you see yourself and how that can change, discuss ways to unlearn behaviours you no longer want and re-learn behaviours that you would consider more positive for you, have me as a supportive and validating ear, work with pain and triggers in your body to uncover and release painful memories and incidents, support you in expressing your emotions through sounds/weeping/body movements, and creatively working on your emotions, memories, or problems using a variety of art forms.

    If you prefer more spiritual approaches, I explain that I begin by giving an offering and prayer to the Creator/God, Ancestors, and Guardian Spirits/Angels of you and me, as well as to the spirits of place and the Land. I then ask you if I can cleanse the space we’re in with smoke, water, salt, sound, or my samod/walis tambo so that we can prepare our spirits for healing work. After the cleansing, I ask if I can do hula/palad/divination, which means I am asking permission for your Ancestors and Guardian Spirits to communicate with mine using my divination tools to send messages to us both regarding your healing journey. These divination tools look like cards I have drawn myself that is loosely based on the Tarot, glass beads, shells, cloth with intricate drawings on them, breaking a raw egg in a glass, burning candles on porcelain plates, pieces of wood and string, and looking at your palm. While doing divination, I will most likely explain to you a Bisayan/Bikol creation story as part of the teachings of the divination tools and how the spirits are speaking through them and to you. Occasionally, a spirit may be “channeled” through me or speak through my mouth.

    If you prefer healing justice work, I combine both approaches that I described above. For more information on healing justice work, please read this amazing article by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha: http://micemagazine.ca/issue-two/not-so-brief-personal-history-healing-justice-movement-2010%E2%80%932016

    Regardless of what approach we start with, I will then ask you what you would like to work on for this healing session. We can work on any and all of the following (though usually one thing per session depending on how much time we have): emotional concerns like grief and rage, behavioural and social concerns like addictions and codependence and managing abusive people in your life, negative/dangerous ideation, soul wounds/trauma, energetic/psychological support for physical healing, curses, hauntings, dreams, and more. Or perhaps a (w)holistic approach that covers multiple areas. Depending on your answer, we’ll figure out together what options we can use. This can range from handouts with exercises, the use of crystals, herbs, affirmations, sigils, touch, bodywork, energy work, chanting/singing/praying together, lighting candles to saints and/or deities, referrals to support groups, the creation of charms/talismans, and strategizing for collective and direct action against oppressive institutions.

    We would end the session with a check-in of how it went for you, and whether you would like to book another session now or contact me later. If we did any form of spiritual healing, we would thank the Creator and all the spirits that worked with us, and then cleanse the space and each other. I would then ask you to take the offering and place or bury it by a tree close by or near your home.

    If you were attending a weekend retreat that I was facilitating, it would very much be a spiritual approach, though with planned group ceremony, arts-based activities, food, breaks, and spending time with the Land.

    Whether after a retreat or one-on-one session, I will try my best to follow-up with you, or make myself accessible to you if things come up for you while healing, and whether further support is needed.

    How do I receive payment?

    I cannot set a price for the spiritual healing work that I do, though once I become a registered social worker, you can book me as a social worker using a sliding scale that I will advertise. This is because there is a tradition among my family and my people that if we ask money for spiritual healing, it becomes more difficult for us to be a vessel for the healing work. However, if you are pleased with the spiritual healing you received, please donate to my Patreon so that I can support my Elders, teachers, and community healing work. I also accept an exchange of goods and/or services, depending on what is being offered. Please check in with me before you offer something– I may not have the time in my life to take you up on it or space in my home to store it. Meals or assistance in chores around the home are always welcome. Please try not to donate to me personally (this does not include my Patreon) until you know for sure that the work has been successful or is complete in some way.

    Am I the right fit for you?

    Now that you’ve read through everything, I want you to consider if I’m the right healer for you. Do you have regular access to other Western counselors or spiritual healers and are not from the communities I serve? Perhaps you should seek those people out, so that it makes space for folks who have a greater need. Are you curious and want to try me out for “entertainment”? Please do not do this, as I could have been spending time with folks that are suffering or in distress who need healing. Are you anti-spiritual and/or bigoted in any way? It will be difficult for you to take me seriously and consider my support valid, and you may be better suited to seek help from someone else. Do you want me to heal someone other than yourself? I cannot do that without their consent, so please have them contact me too. My mannerisms can also range from gentle and loving, to clownish and teasing, to grave and intense. This could be due to the spirits I’m working with at the time, or the mood being created between the two of us. If you have a very specific concept of what a healer should look like, talk like, or act like, I may surprise you, and not in a way that you would like, so please consider that and be upfront if you feel uncomfortable or if we’re not a right fit once we meet. I will do my best to refer you to other folks once I understand further your boundaries and needs.

    If you have any further questions, please contact me at lukayo.estrella@gmail.com. Diyos Mabalos!

  • Throwback Thursday: The Civilizer

    Original 2008; Revised 2018

    Hello.

    Have you ever felt that your life was savage, barbaric, less than ideal?

    Tired of living close with the earth?

    Bored of your rich, oral traditions?

    Suddenly doubting the validity of the herbal knowledge that’s served your community for hundreds of years?

    Fed up with the symbiotic relationship of humans, animals, and the land, which maintain a balanced ecosystem?

    Irritated with your animistic views and the cultural heritage that’s an intrinsic part of your self-worth?

    Ever had that deep down feeling that somehow, on some intrinsic level, you weren’t actually human?

    Well, suffer no more!

    Introducing…

    The Civilizer!

    The Civilizer comes with Freedom, Democracy, Equality, Individualism, the Pursuit of Happiness, and a Judeo-Christian set of morals and ethics—all completely free!

    Benefits include:

    A fair and democratic system that can only be used by the rich and incorporated!

    Worldwide technologically advanced media to disseminate one-sided perspectives rife with cultural stereotypes!

    An allopathic medicinal society that is mostly driven by offering cures instead of actually curing you!

    Education that privileges productivity over knowledge!

    Material success symbolized by items you don’t actually need!

    And best of all, whiteness, heterosexuality, one form of masculinity, one form of relationship arrangement, one form of body type, and one form of monotheism as the Golden Standard we should all try to achieve!

    All of this and more is scientifically proven to come from The Civilizer!

    Don’t just stare like a fence-sitting bisexual!

    If you call now, we have a very special offer where we take all of the terrible parts of you that make you inhuman, as well as your natural resources and cheap labour, and replace it with the Civilizer’s benefits—but now with 50% more democracy and 200% more freedom!

    If you call within the next ten minutes, we’ll throw in guilt and self-hatred as you strive towards Civilizer ideals but can’t quite break free from your inferior indigenous roots!

    This is a limited time offer only!

    Order the Civilizer now!

    Dominators are standing by.

    Some side effects may include slavery, misogyny, homophobia, violent revolution, patriarchy, racism, imperialism, colonialism, cultural genocide, segregation, stereotyping, diaspora, exploitation, sweatshops, free trade agreements, debt, obesity, starvation, war, and more.

    The Civilizer refuses to be held responsible for any and all side effects that may ensue.

    The Civilizer! Cleaning up the world one nation at a time!

    Wanna hear the rest of the poem? Better yet, want to commission me to write a poem and draw something for you? Click on the link to become a patron. For as little as $1/month you can support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21547819

  • Workshop Wednesday: The Taking Tree (2018 Version)

    The Taking Tree is a visual tool for sighted folks that can be drawn piece-by-piece or used as a poster/handout to give a rough overview of the rise of oppression in North America. The purpose of this tool is to show the many intersectional moving parts of how oppression grows and works over time. For a more in-depth version of the Taking Tree, check out the 2015 Prezi version, which is linked further below. For this simpler version, you can use it to explain the following concepts:

    • oppression in North America grows from Western empire
    • empire held supremacies that were and are enacted through violence against those that aren’t able-bodied, neurotypical, non-intersex, white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, upper class, anglophone, etc., etc.
    • empire continues to grow and “take” through global corporate capitalism and colonialism
    • empire grows institutions (economic, government, medical, educational, legal, military, police, media, etc) which then provide social mechanisms of “order” and “prosperity” to be accessed by the people who live off of the tree
    • when people fall on the “right” side of one or more of the supremacies of empire, they attain some form of safety, prosperity, and social advantage, i.e. privilege, from the institutions
    • when people fall on the “wrong” side of one or more of the supremacies of empire, they face numerous kinds of violence and barriers, i.e. oppression, from the institutions
    • many people are not aware that institutions can be poisonous to some and not poisonous to others because the roots/supremacies are under ground, i.e. hidden
    • empire allegedly welcomes all people to live off of its fruits, but it’s actually a false “sign” in an attempt to hide the supremacies while enticing people to, unknowingly, become part of “inferior” groups that oppressors or privileged folks can be “superior” over
    • cultural appropriation occurs when the vampiric roots take the essence from other cultures and those cultural artifacts appear on the Taking Tree but are poisonous/inaccessible to the very people it came from because it passes through the supremacist roots and can now only be accessed by those privileged by empire
    • each oppression root is similar and intersectional in that they all work on an oppressive “logic”, grow from a shared history of empire, and corrupt institutions
    • each oppression root is different because each supremacy and violence is different and people can experience more than one root at the same time (for example, Orientalism targets people considered from the “East” for war while misogyny targets people considered female and/or feminine for servitude to those considered male and/or masculine– and those who are impacted by both Orientalism and misogyny can be sought as “war trophies” that need liberating or they need to be fought in order to serve)

    Origins

    I learned The Taking Tree while preparing to co-facilitate my first anti-oppression workshop with Reem Girgrah and Casper in the summer of 2010 on unceded Algonquin territory, Ottawa, Canada. Reem taught me a more bare-bones version of the tool that just described the roots, the trunk, and the branches/fruit. She said it came from an Internet source, but we haven’t been able to find out what it was, after all these years. A similar tree, called The Tree of Colonial Oppression, was published in Honouring Indigenous Women: Hearts of Nations (Vol. 1) booklet in 2011 by Indigenous Peoples Solidarity Movement Ottawa (IPSMO). There is also a similar Oppression Tree used in workshops for McGill University Residences first year students, but the earliest version I can find is dated 2014. It’s possible that all these trees have a common origin in the Ottawa-Montreal area, or originated from the contributors to the IPSMO booklet a year before it was published. If folks come up with a specific origin, I will attribute and credit appropriately. The seed, fangs, and sign of the Taking Tree, as far as I can tell, I came up with originally.

    Activity Ideas

    While presenting the Taking Tree, you can interact with participants in the following ways:

    • tell the Taking Tree as a story, starting from the seed, to the roots, to the trunk, to the fruit, to the sign and the fangs
    • ask folks to name different oppressions when you get to the part of the roots
    • ask folks to name different institutions when you get to the trunk
    • ask folks to name different social problems and privileges based on oppressive institutions when you get to the poisoned fruit
    • ask folks to describe how they would stop an actual vampiric tree, and then try to brainstorm how their metaphors can be translated into direct action and reality

    Poster Description

    The poster has a dark grey tree with sickly green leaves and pale grey fruit. Under a rough brown line that represents the ground, it shows a red seed at the centre of the tree, and dark grey roots continue downwards. The roots have tiny red mouths with white fangs in them. There are two grey and red arrows that show that the roots are moving outwards underground. There is a grey sign which reads “All Welcome*”. The title of the poster reads “THE TAKING TREE: The Rise of Oppression in North America”. Text near the fruit read “FRUIT IS POISONOUS TO SOME, AND NUTRITIOUS TO OTHERS” and “FRUIT = UNEARNED SOCIAL DISADVANTAGES AND ADVANTAGES”. Near the trunk the text reads “TRUNK = INSTITUTIONS”. Near the seed text reads “SEED = EMPIRE”. To the right of the root network text reads “FANGS & MOVEMENT = CAPITALISM AND COLONIALISM”. To the left of the root network text reads “ROOTS = OPPRESSIVE “LOGIC” (SUPREMACY + VIOLENCE)”. At the bottom of the root network red text reads “THE TREE GROWS BY TAKING THE ESSENCE OUT OF OTHER “TREES”, I.E. CULTURES/NATIONS”. At the bottom of the poster, it reads “patreon.com/lukayo” and “lukayo.com“.

    Link to The Taking Tree Prezi (2015 Version)

    https://prezi.com/k_e7roi3wl-h/the-taking-tree/

    Want to have access to the larger full colour updated 2018 poster, the original photograph of the hand-drawn 2016 poster, and other anti-oppression related teaching tools? Click on the link below and subscribe for as little as $3/month. By becoming a patron, you support healing work among my communities, and the indigenous Elders that mentor me.

    https://www.patreon.com/posts/21521937

  • Patreon News: Schedule Posting Change

    Due to my ongoing recovery process, Troubleshoot Tuesdays and Fresh Fridays will be updated monthly, indefinitely, unless I get requests from patrons on a specific topic or an art/poetry/song commission. Thanks everybody for your patience!

  • Musings Monday: Noah Heart

    [Image description: There is a photo in a blue frame. In the photo, there is a brown-skinned man with dark hair, glasses, and a long-sleeved shirt who is praying to an angel statue. The blue frame has the words “NOAH HEART” at the top, “DREAMS” to the left, “WISHES” to the right, and “HEALING” at the bottom.]

    The first time I remember meeting my uncle was when I returned to Philippines with my father, mother, and brother as a nineteen year old. He read my aura and I thought, here was someone in my family that would understand me. I was still too shy to talk to him, but when I returned four years ago, we connected and he gave me valuable advice about our family’s gifts. He is my father’s cousin, and part of the bloodline of Lola Colo, also known as Sabrina Oppiana Estrella, my great-grandmother, and my father and uncle’s shared grandmother. She was an albularyo/village healer in Guinobatan, Bicol, Philippines, and she is the Ancestor that visits me often in dreams and visions to guide me. I recently reconnected with my uncle again this year, and learned of his healing ministry and practice in Makati, Luzon, and other parts of Philippines. I am so proud of the work my uncle is doing in helping people, and I am proud of supporting that work. Here is a written online interview between him and I.

    L: Why are you called Noah Heart, Wish Whisperer and Dream Reader?  

    NH:  No heart is the origin of my name. I was broken , depressed and fueled by revenge until i got into a spiritual group where people like me hoped to get answers in the challenges of life.  I noticed a lot of people asking for the meaning of their dreams on that group. Since childhood, i am aware of my gifts however throughout my life i never really used it to other people but my family. It is a first to share it to that group by interpreting dreams and it started with that then one day suddenly someone overseas asked me to try to heal her mom, to my surprised i received the news that her mom was healed.

    [Image description: The Noah Heart Dream Reader Facebook page with a picture of Jesus Christ –brown eyes, brown hair and beard, pale skin– in a grey-white cloak. Besides the regular Facebook menu options, it also says “5 out of 5” and “Public figure in Makati”.]

    L:  How were you called to be a healer?  

    NH:  God is giving me a message at this point. I also realized this is not mine. It was shared to me by the holy spirit to help people. That is when i transition to being called Noah Heart , Wish whisperer.  I whisper to God and to the holy spirit the wishes of people and with his timing and grace they are helping people in ways not even i expected.

    [Image Description: The Noah Heart Wish Whisperer Facebook Group Cover Page. There is a photo of a smiling brown-skinned man with dark hair and eyes, and green glasses.]

    L:  What are the kinds of healing that you do?  

    NH:  I started with interpreting dreams and praying over for wishes. Mostly spiritual healing like Karma cleansing and Aura healing. Common and severe diseases like arthritis, internal organ problems and many more. Healing is unlimited and does not have boundaries but limited to the will and grace of God.

    [Image Description: A statue representing the cherubim spirit Daryll, who helps with Healing, Wishes, and Blessings. The statue has a round, pale, pinkish head with brown eyes and wavy brown hair. The neck is surrounded by stylized bluish-white feathers.]

    L:  Who are the people that go to you for healing the most? 

    NH: All kinds of people whether they need advice for their emotional and spiritual wellness or whether they have diseases that affects their physique. Men, women, old, young and other sexual orientation as well seeks help. Everyone is welcome and i’m more than willing to help regardless of their state

    [Image Description: A statue representing the cherubim spirit Louie, who helps with Healing, Wishes, and Blessings. The statue has a round, pale, pinkish head with brown eyes and  straight brown hair. The neck is surrounded by stylized bluish-white feathers.]

    L:  How can people support your healing work, in the Philippines and abroad?

    NH: I want to reach as much people as possible. Im fortunate enough to worked with like minded individuals who worked with me to help people. We were able to help a lot and i can only imagine the impact we can put in the society if we have enough funds to start more projects and finally establish a foundation that will guide people to God and help them with their problems in life. I hope that you will be a part of our journey that inspires to make this world a better place. The soon to be foundation is Noah Heart Foundation. Heart that gives.

    [Image Description: Two clear bottles filled with white-ish oil that have labels which read: “Healing Oil” and “Noah Heart”. There are pictures of the cherubims Daryll and Louie on the white labels. The bottles are on a black table and there is a gold statue in the background.]

The site will be down Friday, June 12th from 8pm until Midnight EST for webhost transfer and maintenance.

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