Throwback Thursday: Why I Wear Black
I had other pieces I wanted to release this week on Thursday and Friday, but due to the death in the Ontario pagan community, I’m moved to post my poems on grief. Consider this your content warning.
(The original piece was written in the summer of 2009 and called “Slam Noir”. This is the updated 2018 version. The graphic was made using Canva.)
Why I Wear Black
Because I’m bored.
Because I’m weird.
Because I’m hoping you’ll re-examine your belief systems.
Because chicks dig it, bro.
Because it’s my armour.
Because I like to sweat.
Because it probably hasn’t occurred to you that in certain cultures this is a symbol of prosperity.
Because I’m such a rebel.
Because I’m so sophisticated.
Because it’s harder to stain.
Because I’m actually the government and I’ve been sent to monitor your activities very, very closely… we’re watching you, Mr. Anderson.
Because it makes me feel sexy.
Because I feel angry and depressed.
Because… Viva la Revolution!
Because I’m a ninja. Seriously. I’m a ninja, I’m Asian, it all makes sense. I’m dangerous and I’m invisible and I clearly know karate.
Because it looks good with anything. Especially rainbows.
Because he broke my heart.
Because she broke my heart.
Because they broke my heart.
Because my heart was broken a long time ago when I was raised to believe I had to be whiter, thinner, and a specific gender to be loved and to be beautiful.
Because… face it, you don’t give a shit.
Because I’m a cynical misanthrope.
Because I want you to think twice about jumping me in the street.
Because I want to feel powerful without having to dominate.
Because I want to be closer to my Ancestors.
Because it’s supposed to hide my imperfections.
Because, like, y’know, whatever.
Because I don’t want to contribute to a culture of consumerism by promoting brands that claim to symbolize one set of values while actually championing emotional manipulation and economic exploitation.
Because everybody hates me.
Because I want attention. HEY! HEY! Pay attention to ME! Thanks!
Because I want to be a superhero.
Because I’m just like everybody else.
Because he died.
Because so many have died, and there’s so much injustice in the world that sometimes we forget to live. Well, I want to REMEMBER.
Because I want to have a choice.
Because it IS my choice.
Because your reaction tells me more about YOU than it does about ME.
Because I’m what you fear.
Because I’m not anything to be ashamed of.
Because grief is not anything to be ashamed of.
Because someone has to mourn the world.
I wear it for the sick and lonely old
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold
I wear the black in mourning for the lives that could have been
– Johnny Cash, “Man In Black”
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